The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed.
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There is a heaviness. It fills the breast and presses in like a weight. It takes your breath away but sometimes slowly crushing and other times coming like a silent tsunami crashing the shore without warning. While trying to shift it you feel guilt for a thing you can not put your finger on and everything you've ever done wrong. The burden of failures not your own coupled with inadequacies long felt and denied rush in to fill the black hole that is sucking your life away.I pray.
The weight does not shift.
Fear invades.
Cold analysis seems painful and facts unable to change the feeling.
Keep telling myself the truth.
What is physical? What is mental? What is from outside myself and what is from deep within?
I am not a slave to this feeling. I will not be defeated by it; it will not overwhelm me! Tell my chest that. Tell my laboured breathing. Tell my tense muscles and tell my weary soul, that years of trying, and happy times have not erased that past. The future looms.
The future is sure. The past is erased. You are free. Even if you don't feel free you are free. Today, Now begins anew. Newness is a promise. You know newness and freedom. You will not be robbed.
You need sleep. You need to pray. You need to reach out. In reaching out you feel help. Make a list. Point your finger. Dismiss the Accuser! The debt is paid. The burden is shared. The burden is light. There is a lightness.
Let your worries for others go. Take them to the Father. Lay them down. He can raise the dead.
I meant it for evil but he can use it for good. They mean it for evil but He can use it for good. Evil does not win!
The head hurts from the battle. The neck aches. But I surrender not to darkness but to light.
Darkness can not defeat the light.
Wait for his rescue. It will come!
