Thursday, December 29, 2005
Finished
I decided to get involved in a book my daughter gave me as a Christmas present. I started it yesterday and finished it today. I like that I can read and take great joy in a good story. It fills me with hope! I was getting increasingly low before the book even though I was trying to do all the right things.
I shaved most of my beard today but left a rather large and very bushy goatee. I'm sure most people will not like it but that doesn't bother me much. I am far more than what people see. I was thinking of having my hair cut too.
I have not accomplished nearly as many things this break as I would have hoped. I think our life ,like the tides or the seasons, comes in patterns that follow the moon and sun. This time of year for me seems often to be a time of not ending as I would have liked but still very hopeful for the new year. I would be very interested in what others were hoping to change in the new year.
I shaved most of my beard today but left a rather large and very bushy goatee. I'm sure most people will not like it but that doesn't bother me much. I am far more than what people see. I was thinking of having my hair cut too.
I have not accomplished nearly as many things this break as I would have hoped. I think our life ,like the tides or the seasons, comes in patterns that follow the moon and sun. This time of year for me seems often to be a time of not ending as I would have liked but still very hopeful for the new year. I would be very interested in what others were hoping to change in the new year.
Wednesday, December 28, 2005
Snowy day
I am not sure why I'm typing this. Really I'm not. It is Wednesday and Lyssa goes back to work for three days this week. In some ways I wish I was. I have plenty to do so it isn't that I am bored. Not that I have done much. I have done a few minor house repairs. and watch a couple of movies.
Yesterday it started to snow a bit and wonder of all wonders there is still snow this morning.
Maybe I'll say more later.
Oh yeah, too much food!
Yesterday it started to snow a bit and wonder of all wonders there is still snow this morning.
Maybe I'll say more later.
Oh yeah, too much food!
Wednesday, December 14, 2005
Melancholy Christmas?
Have you ever noticed that many of the standard Christmas songs are a bit melancholy? Chestnuts roasting over an open fire by Nat King Cole, White Christmas by Bing Crosby, Carol of the Bells, Waling in the air (the Snowman), The little drummer boy, silent night, God rest you Merry Gentleman, and so on seem to all be a mellow longing.
Maybe the darkness of the long winter nights makes us all a bit nostalgic and full of longing. Could it be that all this pent up expectation, desire and hope, is what makes us so melancholy at Christmas time.
A.) Do you agree that Christmas music can tend to be quite melancholy?
B.) How do you cope with the super charged emotional build-up that accompanies Christmas.
Maybe the darkness of the long winter nights makes us all a bit nostalgic and full of longing. Could it be that all this pent up expectation, desire and hope, is what makes us so melancholy at Christmas time.
A.) Do you agree that Christmas music can tend to be quite melancholy?
B.) How do you cope with the super charged emotional build-up that accompanies Christmas.
Monday, December 12, 2005
My growing grave yard of technology
I'm a bit sad.
I can usually resurrect most ailing hard ward, gadgets, PCs, and even some software situations. But recently I have had a two devices kick the bucket. This is a dead parrot!
My old Palm m500 won't reset, hard soft, nothing has worked it is DOA! I have tried a quite a few variations a number of times and I'm stumped. sometimes you just have to let them go. Our gadgets are not immoratal.
The other device to cease it's useful life of offering music to the masses is my Creative Muvo. although it was a very sinple usb music player which only had 64 mg of storage space it was good. Now it is not good!
I can usually resurrect most ailing hard ward, gadgets, PCs, and even some software situations. But recently I have had a two devices kick the bucket. This is a dead parrot!
My old Palm m500 won't reset, hard soft, nothing has worked it is DOA! I have tried a quite a few variations a number of times and I'm stumped. sometimes you just have to let them go. Our gadgets are not immoratal.
The other device to cease it's useful life of offering music to the masses is my Creative Muvo. although it was a very sinple usb music player which only had 64 mg of storage space it was good. Now it is not good!
Sunday, December 11, 2005
Edmond the just!
Narnia!
I cried through the whole film.
Sometimes full of joy.
Many times shame.
I'm a treacherous trader to my King and family too.
Traders made just by the death of an innocent one is a theme I cling to.
Families reunited by forgiveness.
People lovingly accepting the evil doer who repents.
Most of the cinematography is ok. A few times Iwas disappointed.
the small plot changes are fine and make the movie still a cinema experience which doesn't just ape the book without a surprise.
Yet the main idea was clear.
I cried through the whole film.
Sometimes full of joy.
Many times shame.
I'm a treacherous trader to my King and family too.
Traders made just by the death of an innocent one is a theme I cling to.
Families reunited by forgiveness.
People lovingly accepting the evil doer who repents.
Most of the cinematography is ok. A few times Iwas disappointed.
the small plot changes are fine and make the movie still a cinema experience which doesn't just ape the book without a surprise.
Yet the main idea was clear.
Given a voice to use
It has been a interesting few days since going to the doctor on Thursday. As far as I know I have a paralyzed vocal cord which is not a real good thing. I don't really know how long I have had it. I do know that in July I had a quite severe case of horse-lost-voiceness. The state of non-primo-vocal communication persisted through August and into September and the overall weakness of my voice continues even to today. After the doctors visit and questions from him about surgeries of the thyroid?, I said no, injuries to the neck?, again nope, and a through and somewhat painful examination of the neck I was told to wait for a forth coming appointment for a CT scan and a repeat visit to Dr.-With-the-camera-up-the-nose Down-the-throat.
I went back to work and looked for information on vocal cord paralysis. I found questions about surgeries and all messing up nerves but also found concerns about cancer. Well that was a new thought for William Bode to apply to himself.
Next morning Fiona called and left a message saying viral infection causing nerve damage was more likely.
Still whatever the cause it may not work again. I have not gotten used to not singing in church or practically anywhere I feel like it and my daughters would like to be embarrassed.
My voice has been a constant part of my persona for my whole life. To see it beaten down along with the last vestiges of my SELF is a hard pill to swallow.
What else am I clinging to, worshiping and going to have to learn to say goodbye to?
Oh I didn't think really I was overly fixated with the vocal abilities I had but maybe I wasn't being honest with myself for fear of finding the idol under the rug in the tent of Achan.
Possibly it isn't the vocal quality or skill but rather the torrent of words that freely flowed which had to be stopped. James does say the tongue is a spark igniting a huge fire.
Still think of the good which too must come out of that well.
Could it be like Zechariah a lack of faith which leads to the loss of my voice?
Whatever the cause I need to not become proud of the ability to talk rings around all the two corded people with my weak solo artist and neither to fear the possible causes or outcomes.
Whatever the cause or the outcome my life and what words I have left should be, can be, will be used for Christ.
It is good to be reminded.
I went back to work and looked for information on vocal cord paralysis. I found questions about surgeries and all messing up nerves but also found concerns about cancer. Well that was a new thought for William Bode to apply to himself.
Next morning Fiona called and left a message saying viral infection causing nerve damage was more likely.
Still whatever the cause it may not work again. I have not gotten used to not singing in church or practically anywhere I feel like it and my daughters would like to be embarrassed.
My voice has been a constant part of my persona for my whole life. To see it beaten down along with the last vestiges of my SELF is a hard pill to swallow.
What else am I clinging to, worshiping and going to have to learn to say goodbye to?
Oh I didn't think really I was overly fixated with the vocal abilities I had but maybe I wasn't being honest with myself for fear of finding the idol under the rug in the tent of Achan.
Possibly it isn't the vocal quality or skill but rather the torrent of words that freely flowed which had to be stopped. James does say the tongue is a spark igniting a huge fire.
Still think of the good which too must come out of that well.
Could it be like Zechariah a lack of faith which leads to the loss of my voice?
Whatever the cause I need to not become proud of the ability to talk rings around all the two corded people with my weak solo artist and neither to fear the possible causes or outcomes.
Whatever the cause or the outcome my life and what words I have left should be, can be, will be used for Christ.
It is good to be reminded.
Thursday, December 08, 2005
Half a voice
I finally got to see the specialist consultant concerning my voice today. I was told I have a paralisys of the right vocal cord.
If you wan to see what it looked similar to check out the information and videos at this site:
entusa.com
If you wan to see what it looked similar to check out the information and videos at this site:
entusa.com
Getting dark in the day time
Around 4 in the afternoon it gets dark!
Out the window it looks like night.
While I'm still at work the sun has set.
Out the window it looks like night.
While I'm still at work the sun has set.
Wednesday, December 07, 2005
A living piece of art
A living piece of art
As I walked to work this morning
I noticed a rough looking woman
head down, hair pulled back, deeply inhaling a drag off her half smoked cigarette, swerving to avoid a pigeon , careful not to slip on the incline , exiting the under-pass at the St. Mary's roundabout.
In the middle of the roundabout, window to the sky, sunken and surrounded by swirling traffic racing out of the long queues only to re-enter longer queues snaking along all the frost covered streets of Sheffield, I see a two young woman stopped and speaking. The one on the right is tall with shoulder length straight brown hair. She is taller than me dressed in dark drown cotton jacket and jeans with a bright pastel colourful stripped long scarf, the other young woman (most likely they are students, being 1 out of six of the population) is shorter than me and blond, but maybe bleached, with military faded green cotton coat and jeans and a polyester "woolly" winter hat in some dark color. The sun is shining there is no wind, the frost is in patterns on the pavement and you can see everyone's breath.
Coming towards me is another younger girl most likely in sixth form about 16 years of age. She is smiling a very big somewhat silly smile. She is wearing a black beret and a white cotton jacket not nearly large enough showing her rather plump belly and low-riding on the waist jeans that are to long and drag on the floor. Her red cheeks and blotchie complexion do noting to diminish her carefree vibrant bounce of a walk and she passes.
Once I leave the under-pass I pass four or more construction sites. Builders up early with many machines. There must be six or seven of them with various sizes of excavators. I saw more than three at the new Arnold Lavers new headquarters on Brammell Lane across from the SUFC grounds. And then there is one at the football grounds where they are rebuilding the visiting team entrance. An excavator is being used to knock down the building behind Decathlon. And I see more on the building site across from the closed Office World and before I enter The Stoddart building of Hallam where I work and look out the window and still see one occasionally on the building sites across Arundle Gate.
Life is full of art and that is how today I saw it.
As I walked to work this morning
I noticed a rough looking woman
head down, hair pulled back, deeply inhaling a drag off her half smoked cigarette, swerving to avoid a pigeon , careful not to slip on the incline , exiting the under-pass at the St. Mary's roundabout.
In the middle of the roundabout, window to the sky, sunken and surrounded by swirling traffic racing out of the long queues only to re-enter longer queues snaking along all the frost covered streets of Sheffield, I see a two young woman stopped and speaking. The one on the right is tall with shoulder length straight brown hair. She is taller than me dressed in dark drown cotton jacket and jeans with a bright pastel colourful stripped long scarf, the other young woman (most likely they are students, being 1 out of six of the population) is shorter than me and blond, but maybe bleached, with military faded green cotton coat and jeans and a polyester "woolly" winter hat in some dark color. The sun is shining there is no wind, the frost is in patterns on the pavement and you can see everyone's breath.
Coming towards me is another younger girl most likely in sixth form about 16 years of age. She is smiling a very big somewhat silly smile. She is wearing a black beret and a white cotton jacket not nearly large enough showing her rather plump belly and low-riding on the waist jeans that are to long and drag on the floor. Her red cheeks and blotchie complexion do noting to diminish her carefree vibrant bounce of a walk and she passes.
Once I leave the under-pass I pass four or more construction sites. Builders up early with many machines. There must be six or seven of them with various sizes of excavators. I saw more than three at the new Arnold Lavers new headquarters on Brammell Lane across from the SUFC grounds. And then there is one at the football grounds where they are rebuilding the visiting team entrance. An excavator is being used to knock down the building behind Decathlon. And I see more on the building site across from the closed Office World and before I enter The Stoddart building of Hallam where I work and look out the window and still see one occasionally on the building sites across Arundle Gate.
Life is full of art and that is how today I saw it.
The found body made me wonder
Are they sitting in a car,
wondering why they are not moving?
Would they even care,
they found a body on the carriage way today?
Are they caught in a tangle of traffic,
while the police unravel why did the person jump from the bridge near barnsley,
high above the M1 motorway?
I wonder what deals may fall through,
what employees may be fired,
how many missed appointments now waited for, for so long,
all because a person died and left their body on the carraigeway.
This morning is so cold and frosty but the sun is the most brillent of the stars.
Yet a young man has fallen to his death and been struck by several cars,
Was he pushed and will the police find the culprit and put him behind bars?
Or will we all forget he lived among us and his life was linked with ours?
Do the many drivers sitting stranded in their cars,
hear the cry of this young man and wonder what was its cause.
Times Online December 07, 2005
M1 closed after man's body found on road
By Times Online and PA News
The M1 motorway was closed today following the discovery of a body on the carriageway.
Police said both sides of the road were closed in the Barnsley area, between junctions 36 and 37, after the discovery at about 4am.
A spokesman for South Yorkshire Police said investigations were underway and it was not possible to say how long the motorway would be shut for.
He added: "We believe a male has possibly fallen from a bridge over the motorway.
"It would appear he has been struck by a number of vehicles.
"It is too early to say much more than this at this time."
The closure, on one of the busiest commuter stretches of the motorway, between Sheffield and Leeds, caused major traffic problems this morning.
wondering why they are not moving?
Would they even care,
they found a body on the carriage way today?
Are they caught in a tangle of traffic,
while the police unravel why did the person jump from the bridge near barnsley,
high above the M1 motorway?
I wonder what deals may fall through,
what employees may be fired,
how many missed appointments now waited for, for so long,
all because a person died and left their body on the carraigeway.
This morning is so cold and frosty but the sun is the most brillent of the stars.
Yet a young man has fallen to his death and been struck by several cars,
Was he pushed and will the police find the culprit and put him behind bars?
Or will we all forget he lived among us and his life was linked with ours?
Do the many drivers sitting stranded in their cars,
hear the cry of this young man and wonder what was its cause.
Times Online December 07, 2005
M1 closed after man's body found on road
By Times Online and PA News
The M1 motorway was closed today following the discovery of a body on the carriageway.
Police said both sides of the road were closed in the Barnsley area, between junctions 36 and 37, after the discovery at about 4am.
A spokesman for South Yorkshire Police said investigations were underway and it was not possible to say how long the motorway would be shut for.
He added: "We believe a male has possibly fallen from a bridge over the motorway.
"It would appear he has been struck by a number of vehicles.
"It is too early to say much more than this at this time."
The closure, on one of the busiest commuter stretches of the motorway, between Sheffield and Leeds, caused major traffic problems this morning.
Tuesday, December 06, 2005
moving mushrooms
Many moving mushrooms dot the pavement path
Aiding aglie amblers avoiding the peresisitant precipitation
Colourful congregating clusters circumvent the blissful bath
Saving sorry soaking striders the harrowing hydration
Aiding aglie amblers avoiding the peresisitant precipitation
Colourful congregating clusters circumvent the blissful bath
Saving sorry soaking striders the harrowing hydration
Monday, December 05, 2005
More views from the Fourth Floor
Here is where a bit of the action takes place, for the Sheffield Hallam University's Learning Language Support Technician. My desk is the one in the upper left with something on the computer screen and a small open box on the desk.
Turned Back
You turned back
He turned his back
I turn my back on all that made me turn my back on him.
His Father turned his back on him.
So easliy I turn back to the sty.
In the garden he wanted to turn his back on the Father's plan to die.
On the cross His Father turned his back on the His son.
When it was his turn, on his back he bore our sin he could say it is done.
Lord help me turn my back on selfish pride.
Help remmeber each day how you turned your back on yourself and died.
(needs work!, could you offer any suggestions?)
He turned his back
I turn my back on all that made me turn my back on him.
His Father turned his back on him.
So easliy I turn back to the sty.
In the garden he wanted to turn his back on the Father's plan to die.
On the cross His Father turned his back on the His son.
When it was his turn, on his back he bore our sin he could say it is done.
Lord help me turn my back on selfish pride.
Help remmeber each day how you turned your back on yourself and died.
(needs work!, could you offer any suggestions?)
- 1 Peter 2:24
- Who his own self bare our sins in his own body on the tree, that we, being dead to sins, should live unto righteousness: by whose stripes ye were healed.
Sunday, December 04, 2005
Friday, December 02, 2005
Sun shine
Breaking through like a champion the sun shone brightly for 20 mins.
Yeah SUN!
Now back to the night of living at the 53 parallel in Britian in the winter.
It is as if the sun never rode forth before triumphantly out of the clouds.
Back to the gloom of a overcast skys.
I won't let the joy of this short moment fade from my mind.
Yeah SUN!
Now back to the night of living at the 53 parallel in Britian in the winter.
It is as if the sun never rode forth before triumphantly out of the clouds.
Back to the gloom of a overcast skys.
I won't let the joy of this short moment fade from my mind.
autumn
lights down
standing in the evening dim
lights off
standing naked in darkness of longest night
lights on the ground
standing with lights scattered on the floor in morning sun
standing in the evening dim
lights off
standing naked in darkness of longest night
lights on the ground
standing with lights scattered on the floor in morning sun
Thursday, December 01, 2005
A grey day which I didn't see coming
view from the 4th floor's expansive window
08:59
look out the window
it is grey
no sky
no cloud
buildings set against grey
dirty streets
people mostly dressed in black
workers in High Visibility Yellow Vests of Polyester Extra Large like ants on an ant hill
dirty busses flow along the like debris in a mudslide slowly ozzing through the city centre
08:59
look out the window
it is grey
no sky
no cloud
buildings set against grey
dirty streets
people mostly dressed in black
workers in High Visibility Yellow Vests of Polyester Extra Large like ants on an ant hill
dirty busses flow along the like debris in a mudslide slowly ozzing through the city centre
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