Given a voice to use

It has been a interesting few days since going to the doctor on Thursday. As far as I know I have a paralyzed vocal cord which is not a real good thing. I don't really know how long I have had it. I do know that in July I had a quite severe case of horse-lost-voiceness. The state of non-primo-vocal communication persisted through August and into September and the overall weakness of my voice continues even to today. After the doctors visit and questions from him about surgeries of the thyroid?, I said no, injuries to the neck?, again nope, and a through and somewhat painful examination of the neck I was told to wait for a forth coming appointment for a CT scan and a repeat visit to Dr.-With-the-camera-up-the-nose Down-the-throat.

I went back to work and looked for information on vocal cord paralysis. I found questions about surgeries and all messing up nerves but also found concerns about cancer. Well that was a new thought for William Bode to apply to himself.
Next morning Fiona called and left a message saying viral infection causing nerve damage was more likely.
Still whatever the cause it may not work again. I have not gotten used to not singing in church or practically anywhere I feel like it and my daughters would like to be embarrassed.
My voice has been a constant part of my persona for my whole life. To see it beaten down along with the last vestiges of my SELF is a hard pill to swallow.
What else am I clinging to, worshiping and going to have to learn to say goodbye to?
Oh I didn't think really I was overly fixated with the vocal abilities I had but maybe I wasn't being honest with myself for fear of finding the idol under the rug in the tent of Achan.
Possibly it isn't the vocal quality or skill but rather the torrent of words that freely flowed which had to be stopped. James does say the tongue is a spark igniting a huge fire.
Still think of the good which too must come out of that well.
Could it be like Zechariah a lack of faith which leads to the loss of my voice?
Whatever the cause I need to not become proud of the ability to talk rings around all the two corded people with my weak solo artist and neither to fear the possible causes or outcomes.
Whatever the cause or the outcome my life and what words I have left should be, can be, will be used for Christ.
It is good to be reminded.